Marriage Traditions in
China
Ancient China
In ancient China, there were multiple marriage rules. For example, exogamous marriage, which is marriage between siblings or other members of the familial group, was not allowed. In addition, there were ideas of a maternal marriage or a sororate marriage. A maternal marriage involves the groom living with the bride’s family. In this type of marriage, however, the man cannot have a second wife in this particular marriage. In a sororate marriage, a man is allowed to marry his wife’s sisters or female cousins if she dies.
The Han Dynasty: Where Traditions Originated
In the Han Dynasty, many of the commonly known Chinese wedding traditions came to be. One major tradition that originated from this era was the practice of providing betrothal gifts, which were gifts that the groom’s family gave to the bride’s family in exchange for marriage. In fact, a marriage was even considered to be dishonorable if this did not take place. In addition to this, the bride lived in the groom’s family home even after he died. If the bride’s parents wanted her to remarry after the groom’s death, they had to pay part of the betrothal gift back to the groom’s family in order to receive her back.
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Another tradition that originated in this era was matchmaking. Elderly ladies typically served as matchmakers to pair couples together that they thought would be a good fit. They take into consideration the social status, the reputation, and how well families get along when matching up couples. The Chinese zodiac also played a role in matchmaking. There are also Marriage Markets, which are places for parents to go advertise their children to find someone for them to marry. These markets still go on today. In fact, the largest Marriage Market is in Shanghai and has been running since 2004!
Other Marriage Customs
One notable custom is the three letters and the six etiquettes. The three letters are letters written by the groom to give to the bride’s parents before they marry. The three letters include:
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The letter of betrothal outlines the intentions of the marriage as well as the vows.
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The gift letter tells the nature of the gifts that the bride’s family will receive.
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The wedding letter officially welcomes the bride into the groom’s family.
The six etiquettes are proposing, birthday matching, betrothal gifts, wedding gifts, choosing the wedding date, and having the ceremony.
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Another custom is the wedding tea ceremony. Since tea is an important part of Chinese culture, it is no surprise that this is an important custom. On the day of the wedding, the bride and groom serve their elder relatives tea. They start with the oldest and work their way to the youngest, making sure to serve the men before the women.
Two more notable customs that involve the body include the practice of foot binding and joining of hair. Although foot binding has since been banned by the Chinese government, it was still an important aspect of the culture. The practice involved binding women’s feet so tightly that the toes break. The idea is to make the feet so small and dainty that the women cannot stand on their own and need people do things for them. Bound feet are supposed to symbolize high social status and beauty. The joining of hair is much less painful, and happens when the bride and the groom each cut off a lock of their hair and tie the locks together in a knot. They save the knot as a reminder and symbol of togetherness and the two of them becoming one.